Acceptance is a basic human need. A need, not a desire because acceptance is essential for a healthy, stable & fulfilling life.
This need of acceptance does not have to be ‘earned’ through deeds or actions. The art of acceptance lays in our ability to accept reality exactly as it is. Not only accepting but experiencing reality at the root level of sensation at an energetic level – with no influence of prejudice of thought. Our experience is how we understand reality, not words or thoughts not ours nor of others and so it is the only aspect holding importance is our experience – not what is said about it. We must accept what our experience tells us to maintain a healthy life and to stay with the flow of life, rather than work against it.
“No other person’s ideas, and none of my own ideas, are as authoritative as my experience
– Carl Rogers
As we become more accepting of our selves, we become more patient with our selves too. Acceptance alleviates the pressure to do, see and acquire – which builds if and when we live with the illusionary idea that such activities define our worth or identity.
Unconditional acceptance is vital because when it is lacking we fail to be open to experience – to the natural flow of life. Unconditional meaning free of “conditions of worth”. Such conditions are projected onto us by family, partners, society; acceptance rewarded only when certain criteria is met – a tendency of humans to demand that people and things match their arbitrary expectations. This does humanity as a whole a great disservice.
Unconditional acceptance follows the principle that in essence human beings are ‘good’ and healthy. That mental and emotional well-being is the natural progression for human nature. The perspective of unconditional acceptance (regarding self and others in an entirely positive light) relies on unconditional positive regard – this being unconditional acceptance grounded in compassion and recognition of the potential in each individual. However, we must always remember our value as individuals is inherently granted to us merely through existence on this planet.
Each of us is a continual work-in-progress, we are each in a process of change as much as we are the change in it self. Accepting and surrendering to this truth is the first step to attaining unconditional acceptance of self and others. We are human beings, not human doers. Nothing we do in this life time defines whom we are. We are all in a constant state of becoming. Therefore, accepting and surrendering to the flow and process of becoming and being rather than doing is key to maintaining unconditional acceptance in our experience of existence.
The emphasis is on who we are becoming through what we are doing rather than what it is that we are doing. Living is becoming, not doing and thus one cannot self realize without accepting what is within – what one has become so far in order to join the flow of life.
Flow requires no control, it requires no doing and yet it shapes us in the most profound and fulfilling ways and all it requires is true, unconditional acceptance. The irony is that with greater self-acceptance and with less unhealthy pressure and constant criticism (from self and others) we can become far more productive.
Unconditional acceptance requires us to switch our orientation from our (out)side to our (in)side worlds. It also requires us to realize that both sides belong to one whole endless symbiotic relationship of cause and effect, action and reaction – of karma. Although this requires effort on our behalf, surrendering is a crucial part of the acceptance process.
Acceptance goes hand in hand with surrendering to our inner reality – accepting it for what it is regardless of the outside world influence. Surrendering is not just about letting go of control, it is deeply rooted in realizing control is an illusion based on fear. In reality we cannot control people or situations. The only aspect in our control is how we react to such external stimuli that are part of the maya world – an endless play of forms. The only aspect in our control lay within – not without, not outside of us. In order to attain unconditional acceptance within and thus without, one must be open/surrender to ALL pain, accept it all if one is to remain open to the evolutionary Source of all life. Not by turning our back on pain when it inevitably arises on our paths but by accepting it for what it is, facing and learning what the uncomfortable experience has to teach us rather than craving an alternate reality to replace out current very real one.
Reluctance and aversion to pain as well as endless craving of pleasure/gratification or pacification of the senses is the byproduct of a lack of acceptance. This lack leads to what the ancient world referred to as Samsara: an endless cycle of suffering. Accepting pain (past & present) rather than turning away from it or distracting one self from it opens up the gates of inner freedom within which we automatically convey to the outer life experience.Unconditional acceptance is the key to our strength and our Higher potential & and purpose in life. It is also the main ingredient to true joy, to bliss, to flow.
Acceptance is a primary human need which should never be thought of nor regarded as secondary.
© Healing to Health